


Whispered Thoughts

by melonbunuwu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbunuwu/pseuds/melonbunuwu
Summary: Just quiet fluff. Late night thoughts that don't surface most of the time...
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Whispered Thoughts

They lay for a while under the covers. The room is faintly lit with the bright moon muffled by the curtains, just enough light for Daichi to see Sugawara’s pale face.

What time is it? Late night or early morning? His mind was too clouded to care enough to lift his head and check.

Suga squirms a bit, folding into Daichi’s warm arms, like wiggling a puzzle piece into its exact fit.

Sometimes Daichi wishes they could stay like this forever. Not that it could happen, just- would he ever get sick of Sugawara Koushi?

A sliver of the moon cast onto Suga’s serene face, the faint strip of light caressing his cheek. Daichi’s eyes wander to Sugawara’s birthmark, the one resting below Suga’s right eye, and his heart jumps little, just like the very first time he saw it. And like how he knew his heart always would when he sees it. A small defect that made Suga all the more perfect. Ironic.

He would never get sick of Sugawara Koushi.

And he hopes Sugawara Koushi never got sick of him, never leave him. Not that he could stop that either, it was just a wish(was it possessive?), but…the very thought triggered some unknown feeling, dread in his stomach, a pang of….something. His shoulders tense at the awful sensation.

“You’re….still awake?” Suga’s lips barely move. His eyes are still closed, giving no indication of consciousness, besides the words.

“....yeah,” Daichi murmurs, pressing his lips into Sugawara’s soft hair; practically kissing those words into the gray. His arms relax the sound of Suga’s voice. Suga is still there next to him.

“Whatchu thinking about?” Suga asks quietly, still as ever.

“Nothing much,” Just how pretty you are. How lucky I am to have you. And a lot of other things I can’t explain. Daichi hesitates, trying to rack his brain for a full thought. Something that sounds goo- no, sounds right. But nothing clear came to mind.

Suga doesn’t press on that answer either.

Daichi instead asks, “Something bothering you?”

Now, Suga opens his eyes, his pretty brown-grey eyes, to look at the white wall they are facing. They are swirling with something, something Daichi can’t name.

After a moment of silence, Suga’s lips move again, whispering, “Daichi?” His voice is so soft, so sweet.

“...what?”

“Sometimes…” Suga takes a deep breath, “Sometimes, I’m so scared. I’m so scared of you leaving me.” He pauses. A few silent moments slip by.

“Why do you fear that?” Daichi’s eyes soften. “You know I’d never do that.”

“I don’t know, I just- ” Suga pauses, gathering his words before surging forward again, “-I just miss you all the time, you know? When you’re gone, it’s like the world is crashing down. And when you are, I’m always worried when we’ll need to separate again. When you not next to me it just feels….empty. And there’s nothing either of us can do. It’s not like we can physically stay next to each other forever. But if we could, I would.”

“Suga…” Daichi’s voice trails off. What to say? Sugawara didn’t sound sad, or empty, or anything. He didn’t look particularly devastated, like it was a new realization, either. In fact, Daichi thought, Suga looks half-asleep. Not fully aware but not fully unconscious of what he was saying.

He was just voicing his thoughts. Just whispering things.

Then Suga …. smiles? He smiles, just a little bit. Daichi’s breath hitches.

“You spoil me so much, Daichi. And yet I want more. More, more, more. More than 100 percent. More than 24/7. Saying it out loud makes me sound kinda selfish, doesn’t it?” Suga laughs quietly, almost dryly.

 _No_ Dachi wants to say firmly, but Suga presses on.

“I love you so much that it physically hurts. One day my chest will explode with the pain you put it through. I know that you can rip up my heart, throw it on the ground, and I wouldn’t mind. Hell, I’d pick up the damn pieces, sew them back to together, and give it back to you.” Another sad laugh. That sentence was so clear, as if it had been thought over many, many times before that moment.

Then Suga gulps. “And sometimes, when I think about this, I feel really pathetic. Except….it’s also fine, for some reason. If it’s pathetic to love you so much, pathetic I shall be.”

Silence.

“Just what I’m thinking,” Suga adds quickly, a little more in control for his mouth than before.

Silence.

“Does that make sense?”

Yes.

Daichi is speechless. He wants to object to the allegations Suga had accused himself of.

Wants to kiss Suga and cuddle with him, to actually stay here forever.

Wants to assure Suga, no, both of them, that they would be together always, but… who knew what would happen? How could he promise something he couldn’t 100% fulfill? Yet the thought ate at his gut all the time...

Wants to have coherent thoughts about so many things, instead of just ‘he is pretty’, and feeling indistinct feelings he couldn’t explain.

Wants the ability to voice his thoughts, instead of the jumbled mess in his head.

Wants so many things he can’t bring to say...

Instead, Daichi hugs Suga tighter around the waist. The only thing he can do here is hope he can make up for his lack of words. That his actions can fill the gap.

Suga has closed his eyes again, his lips tugging up just a bit now. As the moonstrand slowly shifts across Suga’s pale face, across his messy gray hair, onto the pillow, then to the wall, his breathing evens out. And so does Daichi’s, even though he doesn’t notice.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have no idea what I just did! 
> 
> I literally woke up one morning and thought of this concept, so sorry if it didn't make too much sense. I wasn't thinking clearly or unclearly then, and it was nice and peaceful, so I hope I captured that? 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


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